📚✍WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FIRST NIGHT OF MARRIAGE (LAYLATU ZAFAAF)?❓📚✍
*💞A MUST READ💞*
🌻All Praises is Indeed due to Allah WHO has made it as part of His Signs that He Created for you Spouses from amongst yourselves and Has made in such a way that love and Mercy exist between you. It is as part of the favours of Allah that He Has granted you the pleasure of sexual intimacy between two wedded couples, that is a Great favour and Exalted be Allah the Most High, the most Merciful.
🌻The first night of marriage is a night that every pious man and a woman who have kept their virginity or their holiness hope to see. It is really a night full of expectation of joy and comfort, a night that both spouses will finally have to have phisical pleasure with each other under the sacred matrimony. If evil people will get a sin upon doing zina, why wouldn’t married couples get reward upon doing jimaa with the pleasure of Allah? With this,
🌻It is not the main aim and ambition to just have sex and that is all, NEVER! But know that it is a pure act of Worship. Having the sincere intention of doing jimaa only for the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one’s wife from doing haraam things, to increase the (عدد( numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers.
🌻 It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (P b u h) said: “In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward”. They said, O Mesenger of Allaah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (P b u h) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded.” (Narrated by Muslim). Subhaanallah
🌻The act of sexual intimacy is something that Allah has given as a favour to the children of Adam and it should be treated us such. It is a Fact that Most newly couples because of their ignorance and the failure to ask people of knowledge for a Vivid information about it tend to resort to other means like asking bad friends and some even watch porbographic movie to quench their curiosity. This is really absurd! the eyes that is watching someone’s private part is cursed and in fact it will give you a wrong picture of how sex is.
🌻There have been so many heartbreak and fear that has crept in the heart of the youth especially the sisters upon hearing the bad thing they witnessed being done to others, they have in mind that it is only pain that they have to endure but look sister we didn’t say you should choose a partner just because he is a Big Sheikh or a Big Malama, but when you go for a partner who has Deen and character you are sure to get things right. And in this we look at how the Noblest of Man, Prophet ( P b u h) had his sexual relationship.
🌻The first night of marriage commences when the Bride is actually taken to the home of the groom, it is actually good to send her home as early as possible and should not keep her till the night as most people do. When she is finally at home: The Groom should enter the room by saying: *Assalamu alayke Yaa Habeebatee ( Any sweet name) And the Bride Can respond by : Wa alaykum Salam Yaa Habeebee ( Any sweet name)* but by the nature of a woman on the first night, it become hard for her to even respond, that is a woman for you😊.
🌻One of the most Important things that couples should do is to have two Raka’at of Nafilah prayer as the Prophet has been reported doing with his wife Ayisha Allah b pleased with her. After that the husband should place his hand on her forehead and says such as the the Messenger of Allah said, “If one of you is married to a woman or buy an aide holding his forehead and then let the name of Allah Almighty and pray for blessings on to say: (Allaahumma Ennii As’aluka MinKhoiriha wa khayro maafeehaa was khoyra Jabaltahaa Alaihi Wa Auuzubeka min Syarrihaa wa sharri maafeehaa wa sharri Jabaltaha alaih- (O Allah, that I beg thee kindness and goodness of what you give him and I seek refuge in Thee than ugliness and evil that you gave him ). ( اللهم اني أسألك خيرها و خيرمافيها وخيرماجبلتهاعليه وأعوذبك من شرها وشرمافيها وشرماجبلتا عليه.( That is a start.
🌻After that then it is good to ease the tense and the shy nature of the woman, and with this Asmaa bint Yazid ibn as Sakan said, “I’ve makeup Ayesha to the Prophet and then I went to him one day and asked to see the beauty Ayesha. He (saw) also came with a glass of milk and he drank it and gave it to Aisha. Aisha was then bowed his head in shame. Asma said, “So I admonished her.” And I told him, “Take (the drink) from the hands of the Prophet.” Asma said, “Then Aisha took it and drank a little.” So it is outmost good to have a little snack to ease the tension. But before the real thing, you must take note of this:
1. *It should be noted that it is forbidden to have sex with a woman when she is in her menses and so it is good to have your marriage at a time when the woman is clean or else you will have to wait till she become clean*. Allah said : (they ask you concerning ( محيض) menstruation. Say: that is an adhaa (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified them selves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing.).” [al-Baqarah 2:222].
2. *It is forbidden to have sex with a woman in her anus or back because that is animalistic which is not how nature has it.* The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages.” (Narrated by Ibn ‘Udayy, 1/211; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf. So seek that which is clean and not filthy.
3. It is of good that both partners observe cleanliness at it peak. Physical cleanliness should be cared for and also should MaKe sure the room is very tidy as part of the nature of a man is that clealiness is even part of faith. It is also good to use light which is not bright and not light which is so bright that it make it seem like a horror scene.
🌻After taking care of all this then foreplay follows. Remember, we have some ignorant people with their so-called called Eaman who see foreplay as disguesting and as something dirty which in fact is an ignorant mindset they have. Who could be more decent than the Prophet s a w? But He had forplay with His wives. Who could be more purer than Ayisha R a? But she opened up and so that is how the progeny continues.
🙏It is not and it is never a sign of piety that you hate foreplay or sex just because you are a big Malama or big Malam so you be so shy that you can’t open up. Put the Abaya and the Nikab away in the room and become romantic and sexy. Don’t be too clumsy and don’t be like a villager, explore your self. A man should be a man enough to take a move or approach as the woman would feel uneasy at that time, make her feel ease, if you don’t approach first then I guess you will have to live looking at each others face.
🌻 This is another act of worship which you do without Abaya or hijab! So madam or Malama, Wear sexy Revealing clothes you kept all those years! This is the time for it’s reward! Don’t be like a wood lying down at least you making a move is an ecstasy on its own. Enjoy what Allah has granted you of sexual intercouse.
🌻Foreplay play a major role in sexual stimulation of the woman, dont be too selfish that you want to fullfill your desire than her, you have to satisfy her the same way you would want her to satisfy you. Dont jump on her like how animal do for that is animalistic way and selfish.Imam al-Daylami (Allah have mercy on him) records a narration on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (P b u h) reported to have said: “One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.” (Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami, 2/55). So make sure you start with foreplay.
🌻A lot of people think Islam teaches old thing and new age has come with new things, this is never true and in fact the Prophet ( P b u h) was the most romantic husband ever and He taught us everything. How does the foreplay starts? It is in fact good to start the forplay by caressing gently and kissing her from the top of her hair and through her body. Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (P b u h) would kiss her whilst he was fasting (m, refer to the fiqh of kissing during fast) and he would suck her tongue.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 2378). !
🌻Is it permissible to cares her breast or nipple or even suck the breast as some will prefer? Yes it is permissible as far as it is within the body. It is of most important to spend much time in caressing each other which is good for the bride to be ready for sex. Play with her body as Jabir ibn Abd Allah (P b u h) narrates: “I was in the company of the messenger of Allah (P b u h) in a battle The Messenger of Allah (P b u h) said to me: “Did you marry?”I answered: “yes”. He said: “A virgin or a non-virgin?” I said: “A non-virgin”. The Messenger of Allah (P b u h) said: “Why not a virgin so that you may play with her and she can play with you?”… (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 1991). So it is actually good to do forplay before sex.
🌻What kind of style do we have as people always ask? The common style we have can be the missionary style which is good and healthy but listen to how Allah said it: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223] The Messnger ( P b u h) said: “From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina.”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156). That is explicit explanation of it dear couples.
🌻It is better that you be inside a covering even though you maybe completely naked as it is part of hayaa which is part of a good Muslim. When the woman has reach her peak then you go into her slowly with soft words as Allah has ordained for you. It is of good that couples enjoy sex to the peak to make sure sure that both are satisfied. And to the virgins, dont panic, the blood that will oaze then your hymen is broken, is a blood of puriry, you have become the loved of Allah, you kept it safe for your husband and Allah will be please with you now and forever. So enjoy the pleasure given you Oh children of Adam.
🌻Sex should be a mutual agreement, as you are given sex when you need it the women also should be given when they demand it, denying her is a grave sin that could cause her to go elsewhere. Abu Hurayrah R s said: “The Messenger of Allaah (P b u h) said: ‘If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses [and does not come], and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4794;) the same way curses of Allah be upon any man who deny his wife sex, so support each other in this regard.
🌻A man is not a sex machine nor a woman a sex machine so excuse them when they have a good reason. Don’t always bump on your woman 24-7! Habbah! She is a woman and you have to understand her feelings. Having Sex is not always that bring pleasure, even foreplay can so at times try that and understand her when she say she is tired, that is showing of love and mercy. If one woman is not enough you then can oopt for a second woman for that could help you. May Allah grant us well.
🌻When you are done and you want to do it again, it is good to perform ablution and go on again. But when you are done with jimaa, then it is good to perform ablution then you sleep later when you wake up then you do janabah bath. ‘Aa’ishah (R a ) who said: “The Prophet (P b u h ) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’” She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janaabah). Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim. When you are done with this that is the end of the first night of marriage and it continues as far as you live.
🌻The most serious sin as people most at times engage in is to go by telling their friends what happens on the wedding night especially with our sisters. It is forbidden to tell anybody how it happened. Indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet ( p b u h ) said: “Among the most evil of people before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.(Narrated by Muslim, 4/157).
🌻Dear Brethren, all this is a favour of Allah upon us, keep that virginity for this special day, keep that holiness for this special day, those who have lost their virginity by mistake should not lose hope for the one who repent from sin is like a person who has neved sinned. The day is good for virgins and sacred widows, i hope you are part? With this we can be sure of of continuing the progeny of Adam ( P b u h). I hope this would be a saviour to people who are to enter into marriage in sha Allah. May Allah bless your marriages and may Allah grant us the means to marry and to be able to take our responsibilities.Ameen.
………………………………………………………………………………..
*🌻Your brother In lslam🌻*.
*💞Abdul Basit Ali.💞*
