MARRIAGE PERSPECTIVE (1): A MILLENNIUM VIEW ON MARRIAGE
Marriage of many Muslims result to decay and degeneracy, because of the passion and fashion of the era attached to marriage. The fashion and passion now make many Muslims to neglect the actual and the practical guidelines for successful marriage from the Pristine Source.
Marriage perspective as an inferential and analytical kit is prepared to examine the marriage of this generation in comparison with the period of the Noble Prophet (SAW). Thus, a millennium view of marriage is the preamble of the treatises; on what went wrong in marriage, and how making u-turn to the Divine Plan is the utmost remedy to the degeneracy of marriage.
In reference to the saying of the Noble Prophet (ﷺ): “the blessed Nikaah (marriage) is the one that requires least expenses”.(¹) That is to say one need not waste excess resources in the name of celebrating a marriage; as it is a noted fact that excessiveness is not permitted in Islam. Where one is supposed to fulfil the rite of the religion in a moderate and recommended way as stated by the Noble Prophet (ﷺ); such plan refused to be a vital consideration in the days where religious rites is mixed with traditional culture.
And if you are bent on following your whims and you refused to practically follow the injunctions of Almighty Creator (SWT) and the instructions of the Noble Prophet (SAW); your claim for the Mercy of the Creator as a Muslim may also be underrated.
“And obey Allah and the Messenger (Muhammad SAW) that you may obtain mercy.” (²)
In the era that falsehood is diluted with truth; bad people with good people; indecency with righteousness, corruption with integrity etc. It is hard and mostly unavoidable for one to curb some unnecessary actions that will hinder the celebration of what is supposed to be the half of one’s Deen. This is because, courtesy demands that relatives, friends, and well wishers be treated well and with good wordings, in order to avoid bad reputation that may stain one personality.
The devout personality among the Muslims wouldn’t like to sell of their belief to the fashion of popularity and familiarity in party, but would love to uniquely plan their marital plan and affairs according to the Divine Guide (Qur’ān and Authentic Hadith) formality.
Allowing traditional culture and unislamic act on the Nikaah (marriage) day is nowhere to be found in the personal memo of the conscious Muslims. Hence, the common trend of elongated wedding party at the inception of the bedrock of what will build the generation to come is tantamount to a disobedient act against the injunctions of the Almighty Creator, and also the instructions of His Noble Prophet (SAW).
Since publicity is part of the recommendations of marriage, that will also be done but not to the extent of allowing the participants to indulge in financial, transport, timeliness trouble etc. Welcoming people from different part of the world to help felicitate on the Nikaah day is an interesting and good adventure for people to undertake, as a joyous religious ceremony that foster the union of one family and other relatives, as well as friends. People need not bother themselves traveling around with the risk involved. A virtual event may be opened for people to participate at the comfort of their bedroom. All the couple want is their wishes, prayer, and probably gift (no worries, it can be sent through shipping).
The real deal which is the physical one will just be attended by few required people (from nuclear family, with one or two friends, and religious leader to officiate the Nikaah); according to the required standards set for Nikaah in Islam. The other family members (Nuclear and extended), friends, friends of friends, and the well wishers may join the celebration via Social Media at their comfort. The virtual life is to enhance communication and mankind living standard. So making use of it in the right way will facilitate things, and not make life complicated.
Complaints, criticism, condemnation is highly welcomed from people who may feel the arrangement is not in line with the common trend. But FYI: common trend is not the codes of conducts in Islamic affairs. There won’t be any concern to be moved by people’s reaction, inasmuch as it’s well known that satisfying people’s wish is not part of Nikaah (Marriage) requisites in the perfect lifestyle of Islam. Badmouthing is allowed at the expense of the propagators’ good deeds.
It is a detestable idea to indulge in excess consumption, for the fulfilment of desire, while it is much recommended and more rewarding act to spend on the needy.
“O you who believe! Spend of that with which We have provided for you, before a Day comes when there will be no bargaining, nor friendship, nor intercession. And it is the disbelievers who are the Zalimun (wrong-doers, etc.).” (³)
If the conscious and knowledgeable practising Muslims would contemplate on why Infāq (spending to seek the pleasure of Allah) is obligated, in form of Zakah (compulsory charity), and also the recommended acts of Sadaqa (voluntary charity) and Qard al-Hassan (benevolent loan) is enjoined on the richly endowed and the resourceful believers, Muslims will shun all avenues that require unnecessary expenditure of funds, and would realise how important it is to enjoin the virtue of wealth utilisation for; self, family, relatives, and social needs in Islam. Doing this will bridges the gap between the rich and the poor. Indeed, in Islam is the perfect standards for modelling lifestyle
“Allah do not burden a soul beyond what it can bear” is a reminder from the Glorious book. It is not a requirements to save wealth for what is unnecessary in a ceremony and that is supposed to last for few hours of the day. Spending on other fruitful and profitable avenue will give value to the usage of the wealth expended, and the result will be more progressive to Islam.
Mankind may plan whatever they think to be proper for their lifestyle and it may be fulfilled by the permission of the Creator. The religion has not recommended that the culture and the common trend of the locality be considered in officiating the Nikaah plan. So fulfilling the wish of the society is what make many marriage ended up with the obligations mixed with the prohibition. Muslims need not go into financial distress in the interest of keeping people happy at the time of fulfilling the religious obligation. Is it not written in the Book of Wisdom that:
“Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.” (⁴)
Was-Salāmun Alaykum Wa-RahmatuLlahi Wa-Barakatuh!
1. Sunnah Abu Dawood (2117)
2. [Surah Aal-e-Imran, 3:132]
3. [Surah Al-Baqara, 1:254]
4. [Surah At-Talaq, 65:7]