By Olansile Ajetunmobi Umar

On four different occasions and in three different locations, I saw the way these four women battled for survival under the scorching sun of Olúyòlé city. They were all dressed in protective garments. One was selling groundnut (èpà yíyán) from one motor park to another ; another was inhaling the smoke oozing out of a locally made fire burner, since she’s an apprentice to one puff-puff seller, while another one was busy forcefully cutting pieces of meat to be sold to her customers. The last woman was selling mirrors which I doubt will be valued at #1,000 in all. Why bringing up this issue? What am I trying to achieve with these personal encounters? It’s not to ridicule anyone, far from it. This article is to achieve two things – to educate married men who have neglected their duties and to challenge bachelors who are ready to be MEN soon, on the need to BE READY BEFORE TOUCHING THAT ETERNAL DIAL. 

Yes, the economy might be bad, but there are some menial jobs that are detrimental to the womenfolk. How much would a married woman with children get from being an apprentice of a puff-puff seller? How much profit would she gain from hawking ‘èpà’ that’s less than a thousand Naira? In such instances, are we to say that the husbands of such women don’t know their responsibilities? If they don’t, that shows how wicked, selfish and uncaring some men can be after marriage! Though, I didn’t scan through the faces of these women, with their movements and physique, they looked emotionally or psychologically disturbed. Why won’t it be? What psychological torture is heavier than neglecting one’s legally married wife to fend for herself? The boss to the puff-puff apprentice even showed her grief when the latter wasn’t as fast as expected in attending to customers. I was disturbed emotionally! 

Mr man, on no condition should you frustrate your wife to the extent that she goes out to find a meagre source of living outside your roof and without your consent. In the ecclesiastical world, it’s absolutely wrong! If such frustration graduates to that level, it tells you that you are not yet a responsible husband, let alone a real man of the house! Yes, you don’t need millions of Naira to take care of your household. All you need is a little commitment, readiness and passion to be that man in control. Stop breeding an enclave of psychiatry in your woman! Why won’t she change her behaviour totally to you in the house? You have been nicknamed “baba 7am to 11 in the night,” even on Sundays! Haba!! This is nothing, but a physical and psychological torture to you wife! Change is inevitable ; you can still do better! 

Bòdá mi àtàtà, I overheard it somewhere that you are planning to say bye-bye to this lonely and ‘salty’ bachelorhood. You are the serious one jae! After all, the rate at which you buy bread and Fanta will reduce. Even, those ‘baes’ you take out on different cafeterias-date will free you for ‘a while.’ That’s a good move, “e kú okàn akin!” However, are you really prepared for this new life? Are you surely prepared to always feed your heart with both spiritual and physiological food? Are you prepared to help your wife fulfil her realistic dreams? Are you even ready to remove those arrows of low self-esteem, pride, arrogance, ignorance and impatience in her? Do you really have plans for post-marital life too? If all these are affirmative, please, don’t change after your final nuptial engagement with her! Both of you just need to understand each other; every home has its own downs.

Finally, our wives are our treasures ; let’s preserve them! Our wives are our babies; let’s nurture and breastfeed them! Our wives are our second mothers ; let’s give them attention and respect! Our wives are our beards ; let’s keep them clean by combing and oiling! Our wives are just like our beds, let’s keep bedbugs away from them! It’s good to have a caring wife, but do you care for her too? Oh dear married men! If you are not courageous to point at her as your wife, then, you are really doing something wrong to her! Watch it…!

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