Undoubtedly, Allah alone deserves all forms of worship and accolades. He is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise. It is He Who created man and ordained him to be kind to other creatures. May Allah’s eternal bliss continue to be on Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) and all seekers of truth till the trumpet is blown, Amin. 

To maintain good relationship with others, you need to pay special attention to your dear self and be pleased with what Allah has bestowed on you. Truly, Allah has created man with strengths and weaknesses but objectively, our strengths are always beyond our weaknesses if only we can reflect deeply. The gift of coming to this world, sound health as well as the use of the organs of our body can’t be overemphasized if only we could appreciate Allah for them all, Alhamdulilah! “In order to be happier, look at the brighter elements of your life before you look at the darker ones” said Dr. Muhammad.

While doing the above, try not to pay heed to what people say! Ignore and live the good life is a popular adage. Ignore means, in as much as you are enjoying your skills and maintaining a good life without indulging in atrocities, don’t be so much bordered about the unconstructive criticism of people. Man is never without an adversary, even if he seeks out seclusion at the peak of a mountain. One of the early Muslims said, “ The one who allows his religious affairs to fluctuate because of mere criticism, will change his views endlessly”. Take a quick lesson from the story of Juha who was riding on a donkey while his son walked along. He constantly changed the rider of the donkey due to people’s comment and eventually carried the donkey with his son on their head. If I had the opportunity I would have told him, “Oh beloved! Forget what the people are saying and do as you wish, pleasing people is a goal that can never be achieved”. The Prophet (S.A.W) was equally distracted with the challenges of this world at the beginning of his mission as a prophet but he never relented till he accomplished his assignment.

After nourishing your dear self with happiness while enjoying yourself then you have to treat others the way you also want to be treated. The noblest of mankind (SAW) once said, “ let him do unto others as he would like to be done unto him”- Muslim. Allah has created an instinct in everyone to always feel delighted when appreciated and feel cold when embarrassed or rejected. So, if you are also human and appreciate people’s compliment on you especially on things that seem or appear minor, then treat others the same way by appreciating them as well. Good appearance in a cloth, perfumes, shoes, neatness can be complimented as: Ma sha Allah! how handsome you look today, what a wonderful smell, this footwear is like that of a bride, this neatness is a great virtue and Allah loves it so much_ respectively. Cheerful attitude can be preceded with you are one of the best people I have ever met, when offered a meal it’s not too much to say: your wife must have won an international cooking competition. No matter how successful one may be, He or she is still a human who relishes compliments.

You will become a super star when you compliment people. Imagine an ugly poor womanizer that ladies flock around just because of the good words he whispers to them. You are not a corrupt fellow like that, but a virtuous one seeking Allah’s pleasure through cultivating good relationship, then why won’t you explore the sweetness of the tongue Allah has given you? Choose your words as you would choose the best fruits from the bad ones. Take a lesson from this, after the victory of the Muslims in the battle of Hunayn, the Prophet (SAW) distributed most of the booty among the Quraysh that just accepted Islam and this caused murmuring amongst the Ansars, who had been fighting along with him in many expenditures. This gave the Prophet (SAW) a concern when their leader, Sa’d bn Ubadah reported to him and he requested that they should be gathered for him to address. One could have imagined that the father of Fatima (SAW) was going to castigate the Ansar but rather after series of questioning he eventually said, “ Are you not satisfied that while other men take away flocks and herds, you take back with you the Messenger of Allah? By the one in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, if not for migration, I should have been one of the Ansar myself. If all men went one way and the Ansar another, I should take the way of the Ansar. May Allah have mercy on the Ansar, their sons and their sons’ son. People cried until their beards were soaked…” [Bukhari and Muslim].

The antonym of compliment is criticism especially unconstructive ones without a productive outcome. As a Muslim who wants to perfect his/her interpersonal skills, you should do less of overzealous criticisms by commenting on every mistake or undoing of people. We should desist from rushing to judge others because we might be wrong eventually and could have caused more damage than good. Allah says, “ Remain alert! Don’t let your haste overcome your deliberation” Q21:37. He also said in Q49:6, “ Oh! You who believe, if a rebellious person comes to you with a news, verify it, lest you harm people in ignorance and afterwards you become regretful to what you have done”
Zayad is a kind person who always want to advise everyone. He ones heard a loud music coming out of a car in a traffic and to his surprised the driver of the car was bearded and looks like a Muslim. He therefore tried all possible means to get to him and correct him. He was indeed pained, hence his eyes red and screamed from his own car. This driver noticed Zayad’s demeanor and brought out a paper while he wrote on it and displayed it through the driver’s window: “ I am a deaf person. I cannot hear, please write down what you want to say to me.” You can complete the rest of the story.

You can deliberately ignore some minor errors and appreciate the good in every situation. You can even overlook what could embarrass others if discussed. Don’t load your host with unsolicited advice when you observe the furniture is old, you might be oblivious of his financial condition, avoid complaining about the old cloth of another person especially in public. If you want to assist him, get him new ones. Eschew from talking about death when visiting the sick or talking about how ugly or emaciated the patient looks, thereby making him or her sad.
In all, seek to make people happy, rather than make them sad. I leave you with two hadiths of the Prophet (S.A.W): ” He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.” (Muslim) and “ I asked the Messenger of Allah (SAW): “Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?” He said, “One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure.” (Bukhari & Muslim).

The first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah begins tomorrow (Sat. Sept. 3, 2016). They are the best ten days in the year. Try and fast and increase your worship, good deeds and supplications in them. If you can’t fast all, please endeavor to fast on the Day of Arafah (September 11, 2016). The Prophet (PBUH) said, “ There is no deed that is better in the sight of Allah or more greatly rewarded than a good deed done in the (first) ten days of Al-Adha”. It was asked, “ _Not even Jihad for the sake of Allah?” The Prophet (PBUH) replied, “Not even Jihad for the sake of Allah, unless a man goes out himself for Jihad taking his wealth with him and does not come back with anything.” Narrated by Al-Bukhari

Actualise your dream, by learning how to read the Qur’an fluently with tajweed and some basics of Arabic language. You are afforded the opportunity to learn all these at Daarul Hikmah c/o of FCE(T) Mosque on Thursdays, Fridays (7:30pm – 9:30pm) and Saturdays (7:00am-9:00am). For enquiries contact, 08157558462, 07032817408, 08099786263. Registration has started and class commenced again this week but you can still join us the train of intellectuals or contact the above numbers*_

IMAM Abdur-Rasheed Adeoye

Previous articleSaudi denies hiring Israeli firm to secure pilgrims
Next articleDates, four other fruits that boost sex drive


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here